Goodbye 2011 | One Last time.

So 2011 is gone… Wow Here’s Goodbye to one of the most “Hectic” Years of my life.

A lot actually Happened in 2011 for me – I Think the last couple of months were actually the most busiest months of the year to be honest, in terms of it all coming to an end ( together!) before Christmas and new years !

As I mentioned There’s been a lot of Farewells, girls night outs and the new one – a love ! I’ll share it with you now so we can hit off 2012 with a spark !

The Girls Night Outs | Novembre

It would be wrong for me to say that 2011 turned me into a workaholic because I’d started to be like that ever since I started my bachelor degree, so in that case I’ll use the terms Choice and Risks. This year I became MORE OF the workaholic that I had already become – Not taking breaks, getting to college and immediately going to my level to start/finish my work instead of chilling out front, going to bed late and waking up a few hours later to finish up work, not making time for girls night outs/ get togethers, not attending events I would usually be the first one to say yes to etc. This last semester specially, I had fallen into a habit of not making it to kick-backs at my best friends house, because I was simply and truthfully not making time for anything ( not even my health – clearly) besides my assessments, It was too much of a risk for me to take. I’d say “oh yeh I might come depending on how it goes” and all night I’d be killing myself and working on my assessments and designs meanwhile the girls were chillaxing and enjoying each others company with sweets and cups of tea ! I started to realise after my surgery just how much I missed it – and how horrible it felt that when I came back to thinking when the last time it was that the four of us were all present (ESPECIALLY ME),it was quite a vague memory ! Yes we are always there for each other and yes we always care but sometimes thoughts over actual presence doesn’t count. So where risk taking and choices come in is when I decided to ( in the midst of all the surgery stress and deadline mayhem) erase the word Priority and replace it with “Rhaya-say-yes-to-a-break-every-now-and-then-…please!” and so I did. I was there 10 pm, dead tired, eyes almost rolling back into whatever was left of my brain at my best friends Tuscan Avenue house for the very last time before they moved. I said yes to other things like that too like coffee catch ups and even a date and get-to-know. This probably may not make sense but the whole choice, risks and “Rhaya-say-yes-to-a-break-every-now-and-then-…please!” plays a very important part in “The love | Decembre”

The love | Decembre

So every year on my birthday I get crazy about making a wish – I have to make a wish, It’s just my thing– Its dumb because it probably never ever comes true but in case that one time it does – I always do ha-ha ! I usually make the same wish – typical – “I hope I find a normal boyfriend, I hope I don’t die lonely, I hope I find love, I want it to last and be perfect and blah blah blah” and other than wishing for that I also wish for a successful career, beautiful life and and a great year la la la. So having lost a little bit of hope in the love sector I said to myself you know this year I’m not going to wish for that, there is no point in wasting my wishing minutes on something as stupid as that !

So instead I wished for my studies – so that I could be given the strength to finish and meet the deadline for the men’s and women’s collection marking as well as making all three looks from the mini range into the fashion show, self fulfilment. ( mind you – that came true … Thank god! )

A few weeks before my birthday I was sharing a coke with cupid, and I said to him “you know I didn’t wish for love for my birthday this time but because we’re having a friendly dnm here do you think you can adjust your aim a little and maybe hit a bullseye on someone – just one person – who will be great for me ?” And He said to me “you know I think If you speak to my friend Santa pretty sure he can do seal the deal for you” – So i Shared a coke with Santa and he said “you know I’ll give you one wish – any thing” –and I said “all I want for Christmas is what I didn’t wish for this year, that I wish for every year – a click, a normal person that I can look to and say hey you’re my partner and I’m very glad you’re here with me and we can do this thing called life together, Someone who is strong enough to carry not only me but themselves – ( to be, at the same time, calm and collected when I’m not !)”. A few Weeks after that I Took a risk and one of those “Rhaya-say-yes-to-a-break-every-now-and-then-…please!” – I gave it another chance, one last chance and kaboom ! The start of December and I’m in a relationship – it’s almost been a month and I’m really happy !

It just magically happened, it’s funny how when you don’t wish for it and when you don’t want it so much, that it just happens – I don’t even know how it happened but it was the choices I made – the taking breaks and taking it easy thing – its how it all fell into place. By giving things a chance I was able to fulfil one last thing I’d been longing for.

The great ending of 2011 has rolled into 2012 and I quite like how It’s going and where It’s at – I think I’ll look at it positively and say its for the better and that everything that I’ve been through and experienced both good and bad was worth it. Here’s a big one to 2012, I hope you’re a great year ! One definitely to remember !

One last time | 2011 I’d like to say a sarcastic thankyou for all the hard times and suffering you put me through and a heartfelt thankyou for the beautiful memories, dnm’s, and the happy ending you gave !


xxxx Much love, Yours Truly


Epiphany | a sudden realisation | November You always do this to me

Bonjour Novembre | month of realisation!!

Status : Enlightened

I love this month because every year not only do I celebrate my birthday but somehow I always experience some sort of personal/emotional growth. Something always happens to me leading up to this month or during this month that makes me take a few steps back to brood over the year before the final month arrives !

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

A light breeze through my curtain and a ray of sunshine peaking through the top.

This was the morning of the first day of November, 2011.

I’m a very open-minded person. A bright, bubbly person who is very passionate and determined at almost every point within life.

I put in 100% in my work – my Fashion is my life. I made it that way because no matter what I will always get back what I put into it, “Self fulfilment”. It is something that nothing can give you unless you allow yourself to find it and accept it. Let people laugh and judge as much as they like, but dream what you want to and be realistic about it.

I’m in third year, my final year and I love it. My collections and ideas, each and every one is a little bit of me. A souvenir of the many strange, loved, unique – priceless bits and pieces of my emotions and personality unleashed in every single one. The pressure, the stress, the expectations, the deadlines – It plays with your head. Whether you learn to accept it or not – either way it’s a choice you make. Are you cut out for it ? Can you do it ? Sooner or later you will be in a big world by yourself – no mentor, no lecturer, nobody – NOBODY but yourself to try and understand and to figure out what it is YOU really WANT. You may think I’m crazy, but this is the life of a fashion design student. It’s Tough. Endless hours spent on developments, designs, patternmaking and sampling – being a student, one goes insane.

I am pedantic, persistent and most of the time a perfectionist. But I believe that if you want to be successful you have to be able to be that as well as being able to contort yourself within a variety of characteristics. No excuses. Change in this industry is inevitable – Fashion never stands still.

I am not saying I‘m perfect, nobody is, in fact I’m that little bit crazy. However, We were created with flaws – we were born to be different and to feel emotions, to feel needy and lonely or to cry and laugh, to have tantrums and be childish, to make silly assumptions, yet to grow and embark on journeys around the world, to be faced with challenges and to learn how to conquer them.

And just sometimes we need someone who can provide us with the truth and tell us when we are squinting. Squinting at the world, at a situation, something immature, or something serious. That’s what friends, family, colleagues, partners are for.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

My life,the last 7 months changed rapidly. I started to become more weak and tired, my bones would ache, and my spine would cramp. Though like the famous Chanel, I worked hard throughout it all. Acting like nothing was wrong, like a machine, running all day. I remember wishing and wanting to be bored, Wanting to be able to relax and to lie down for a week and do nothing. Just to have the time to read a book, stare at a wall or into the distance – to do anything BUT work. I knew myself that I would never back down though, nothing could stop me unless I was stopped. Why on earth would I drop all my work to read a book ? Never was it going to happen, I wouldn’t do that to myself. Although I did something else to myself, made myself sick, by now you should sense that being the work-a-holic I became wasn’t healthy. Somehow, something granted me that wish of relief though.

A few months back I got told I had to have surgery – it never occurred to me then but it does now, the mysterious way things happen for a reason.

I’m not saying I’m thankful for being sick, nobody would be. No sane person would ever want to go through any form of excruciating pain or the thought of having to learn how to walk again.

If anything I was thankful for being able to have found myself again. Especially, the tremendous amounts of support I received from people whom I never thought would be there.

Naturally open minded, I squint very rarely, but it opened my eyes.

When you are down and tired and you’ve had enough of the world and everyone in it, you think that no one will miss you and that no one cares but in fact that exclusive personality, the job that you do it leaves a footprint within the lives of others. You don’t realise until you are sick on a bed, day after day, struggling to put your foot on the ground and learning how to walk and sit again like a little puppy, just how much they miss you and need you.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

All this because a friend approached me this morning and struck an emotional chord within my heart, all this because she cares. She knows who she is and I love her for it.


We all go through realisations in life, and this is one I’m sharing with you.
Some of you may not understand what this post means but for those of you who do or for those of you who know the feeling – you’d agree with me when i say :

“Hope isn’t lost, It’s just a tiny glitch in what is otherwise known as the longest journey you’ll ever experience.”


Much Love, Yours Truly